


I'm not a stranger, no, I am yours.

by AngelOnFire (Katherine3)



Series: Neil with DID [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Dissociative Identity Disorder, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 12:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18410492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherine3/pseuds/AngelOnFire
Summary: Andrew spends morning with one of Neil's alters (Chris).





	I'm not a stranger, no, I am yours.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the incredible IKnowWhoYouAre_Damianos for being a beta for this work. You should check their fics, they're amazing!
> 
> Make sure to read the first fic of the series to get a little background story!

Andrew blinks slowly as he opens his eyes and looks over towards Neil. He’s met with ice-blue eyes already looking back at him.

“Staring,” Andrew mumbles out, before he yawns.

“Sorry,” he hears a reply and hums, looking at the person laying next to him again.

His arms are hidden under the pillow and his knees are pulled to his chest. He’s also looking down at his pillow, clearly feeling bad for staring at Andrew, or maybe for the fact that the blond pointed it out.

“Good morning, Chris.” Andrew says, before he reaches over with his right hand and puts it on the back of Chris’ neck, leaning in and pressing his lips to Chris’ forehead.

He earns a small twitch of the left corner of Chris’ mouth for that, which is almost a smile. And that’s a lot coming from Chris.

It wasn’t like that between them at first. After Neil admitted to the Foxes that he has DID, Andrew felt cheated for a while. He’s been with people thinking they were Neil, when they in fact weren’t. He kissed them, shared intimate touches with them all while thinking he’s doing it with his boyfriend.

But then Abram stepped up and explained to Andrew that they did it only to protect themselves and if it were their choice, they probably would tell Andrew sooner. But Abram told them not to. As much as he seemed to like Andrew and feel protective of him, the system always comes first.

It took a few days for Andrew to let it all sink in, for him to understand and accept. And when he did, he started getting to know all of them for the people that they really were.

And so, he got to know Chris. Chris is a trauma holder; he keeps most of Neil’s bad feelings and memories. When he was finally able to be himself, he seemed to feel a little relieved, pretending to be Neil really tiring him out. Andrew was actually shocked at the difference between Neil and Chris and was impressed that with everything that was going on in his head, Chris still managed to go to classes, play Exy and even fake a smile once in a while. He also drank black coffee, which he hates, liking hot chocolate and other sweet drinks much more.

When Andrew found out Chris is only sixteen, though, he started avoiding him. Sure, he would bring hot chocolate or something to eat to his bed and make sure he actually ate it, but other than that he kept his distance, making sure to never touch Chris.

He wouldn’t be like them. The thought of touching a depressed sixteen year old made him hate himself for even considering it, no matter how innocent that touch would be. That was until one dinner with Abram.

“Chris thinks you hate him,” Abram announced, before taking a big bite of his noodles.

“Hm?” Andrew only replied, encouraging the man to continue.

“He says that you’re really tense around him, that you never touch him, that you barely speak any words to him. He thinks you blame him for everything that goes wrong in Neil’s life, because he skips classes sometimes or isn’t as good at Exy as Neil is.”

“I don’t give a fuck about his Exy skills,” Andrew mumbled, rolling his eyes. “I’m not Kevin.”

“I know that. Maybe you should talk to him about it,” Abram suggested with a shrug, before just continuing to eat his dinner.

It took Andrew a lot of time to prepare himself for the talk and when he finally got a chance to talk to Chris, he explained to him why he is the way he is towards him.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable with you touching me, it’s that I don’t ever want you to feel the way I did,” Andrew concluded his long story.

Chris stayed silent for a long time, staring down at his fingers that were playing with a loose thread of his hoodie. 

“When you thought I was Neil, I used to put my head on your lap and you were running your fingers through my hair,” Chris finally said. “It made me feel safe. It made my thoughts calm down. It gave me peace.”

Andrew watched Chris, with his lips pressed in a thin line. The boy finally looked up at him.

“You never hurt Neil and I know you would never hurt me. I’m sorry about everything that happened to you. But you’re not them. You’re kind and caring, even if you try to hide it. You’re not a monster, Andrew”

Chris moved his hand, hovering it over Andrew’s wrist, before he gave the blond a questioning look. After Andrew gave him a nod, Chris carefully grabbed Andrew’s wrist and lead his hand to his own neck. Andrew couldn’t help but press his fingers a tiny bit harder to feel Chris’ pulse, but from the teenager’s next words it seemed that that was his goal.

“Do I seem scared of you?” Chris asked quietly.

Andrew took a deep breath as they stayed in this position for a while, just looking at each other, Andrew’s hand on Chris’ neck and Chris’ hand covering Andrew’s.

“You don’t have to ask for my consent to touch me,” Chris announced, and Andrew growled, pulling his hand away.

“Let me guess, it’s always yes with me?” Andrew asked, rolling his eyes.

“No. But I trust you. And I know that without consent your hands will never go to any place that you’d need a consent for”

Andrew couldn’t help but scoff. “You shouldn’t trust anyone,” he said, unable to help himself.

“And yet, here we are,” Chris replied calmly.

It took a long time for Andrew to get used to the thought of touching Chris, but they got through it. Andrew is very strict when it comes to touches, though. His hands can only stay on Chris’ head, neck, shoulders, arms and hands. He sometimes gives the other kisses, but even if he does, they’re on his head, forehead or temple. Never on his cheek and absolutely never on his lips.

And now they’re in the house in Columbia, after Andrew and Neil spent the whole weekend making out and just forgetting about the whole world outside of their bed. It seems like he had a nightmare, since it is Chris waking up next to Andrew instead of Neil.

“I’m going to make coffee and go for a smoke. You wanna join?” Andrew asks, as he gets out of bed. When he turns, he notices Chris watching him, but he patiently waits for the answer. Chris rarely left the bed, but Andrew always made sure to ask what the other wanted, instead of just assuming.

“Yes,” Chris finally says, sitting up. Andrew nods and walks over to their bag, grabbing his armbands and some of Neil’s clothes, before handing them over to Chris.

Andrew hates his scars, but not as much as Chris does. Usually Chris wears long sleeved hoodies or puts on Neil’s armbands, but they didn’t think Chris would make an appearance so they didn’t bring any of that with them.

Andrew leaves Chris alone to change, while he goes downstairs making coffee for himself and hot chocolate for his boyfriend. When the drinks are ready, he takes them outside onto the porch, sitting down on the top step. Chris joins him soon, grabbing his cup and taking a slow sip.

They sit in silence, Andrew smoking and Chris enjoying the warm sun on his face, if his closed eyes and tilted head are anything to go by.

“Good day?” Andrew asks, before letting the smoke escape his lungs and putting out his cigarette.

“Not the worst,” Chris admits, looking over at Andrew. “I don’t remember the nightmare. I’m sorry if Neil does,” he ads.

Andrew sighs, “Don’t worry about it. He’s a big boy, he’ll deal.”

Andrew is more patient with Chris and Sam than with any other alters. With others he could bite and they always bite back, finding the sarcastic remarks surprisingly bonding and accepting Andrew for who he is.

With those two, though, Andrew decided to make a little sacrifice. He is always gentler with them, sometimes not even saying what is on his mind and making sure his replies are as nice as he can make them.

Andrew takes his cup and sips his coffee, enjoying the sun as well. Summer is just around the corner and even mornings are warm those days. He hates summer, it doesn’t go well with his black clothes, but he does like mornings like this one.

“Could we-” Chris starts talking, but then stops himself, seemingly rethinking his question, “nevermind.”

Andrew hums, “If you don’t say it, then we can’t,” he simply states.

Chris is silent by his side for a moment, “Could we go for a walk?”

Andrew raises an eyebrow looking over at the boy, who looks back at him with big, hopeful eyes.

“As long as it’s not a run,” he decides, taking the last sip of his coffee, before he gets up. “I’ll go change. Wait here,” he ads, grabbing their empty cups before going inside.

When he’s in the house he puts their cups in the sink, changes, grabs his wallet, phone and keys and then walks back outside. Chris is thankfully still in the same place.

Chris turns his head when he hears the door closing and gets up, waiting for Andrew to join him. When he does, Chris is biting his lower lip.

“What is it?” Andrew asks.

“Um, just… could I… Would we….” Chris says, before shaking his head. He’s overthinking, Andrew can tell.

“It’s okay, tell me,” Andrew says in such a soft voice that he wonders if he ever used it while talking to Neil. The answer is most probably ‘no’. But then again, he doesn’t have to.

Chris sighs, before lifting his hand, putting up his pinky. Andrew watches his hand, before he takes the boy’s pinky with his own and with their hands joined that way, they start walking down the street.

The walk is silent, but neither of them seem to mind it. Chris isn’t a talker and it’s one of the things Andrew likes about him.

After a while, Andrew feels Chris pulling on his finger and looks at the teenager, before following his line of sight and noticing a small cafe that probably opened barely a few minutes ago. 

“Could we get some ice cream?” Chris asks, before he looks over at Andrew. 

No, says Neil's voice in Andrew's head.  
I will kill you, says Kevin's voice inside Andrew's head.  
What the fuck, you didn't even have breakfast yet, says Aaron's voice in Andrew's head.  
“Yes,” says Andrew, making their way towards the entrance. 

The cashier seems a little surprised that someone orders ice cream so early in the morning, but overall she is really nice. Andrew leaves a tip for her. 

They sit down at one of the tables and Andrew takes out his phone, going through his texts. He hasn't checked them since Friday evening. Kevin is asking if they'd be back for afternoon practice. Renee asks if he'd want to spare with her in the evening. Nicky sent six texts about how much he needs new clothes and that they have to go shopping soon.

Andrew types a quick ‘yes’ to Renee and puts his phone away. 

The waitress brings their ice cream and they start eating in silence. Chris is humming some song quietly, which Andrew takes as a good sign. Chris rarely shows any signs of happiness. This day really must be a good one for him. 

When the humming stops, Andrew looks up to see Neil staring at him and shaking his head. 

“Ice cream for breakfast? Really?”

Andrew shrugs, putting another spoonful into his mouth, not breaking eye contact with Neil. 

“If we ever have kids, this is how you'll feed them?” Neil asks, raising his eyebrow. 

“Bold of you to assume I'd want kids with _you_ , Josten”

“Oh? Who would you rather have kids with then?” Neil asks, leaning back in his seat. 

Andrew rolls his eyes, but decides to play along, “Sam. She surely knows a lot about babies, she's a great candidate for a co-parent”

“Because she's a girl? That's sexist, Andrew,” Neil replies with a dramatic gasp. 

“Because she's a caretaker, dipshit.”

Andrew notices the couple at the table next to theirs looking their way, but he doesn't care about them. Only Neil's reaction matters and Neil is grinning at him.

“I'd probably have Alex on diaper duty, he seems to like having his hands busy,” Andrew adds, licking his spoon clean.

“What about Abram?” Neil asks, clearly finding the conversation amusing. He pushes the ice cream that Chris didn't get to finish towards Andrew and the blond quickly starts eating it. 

“He could be homeschooling the kids.”

“Chris?”

“The older cousin who introduces the kids to some emo music when they go through their emo phase.”

“Stefan?”

“Sex talk.”

Neil raises an eyebrow at that “Are you sure you want Stefan to talk to your kids about sex?”

Andrew hums, licking his spoon as he considers it. “Stefan and Nicky under my watchful eye,” he decides.

“What does that make me, then?“ Neil asks, leaning a little on the table that is between them. 

“Daddy's mistress, obviously,” Andrew replies with his usual boring voice. 

Neil laughs and it's such a beautiful sound that Andrew has to bite on his cheek to stop his lips from smiling. He really is happy with that idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Your comments and kudos give me life.  
> If someone with DID reads this and finds something offensive or inaccurate, please don't be mean to me. I did a lot of research, but I obviously don't know everything. You can inform me in the comments if I did something wrong and I'll try my best to fix it.  
> Also, if you have DID (or know someone who has it) and you'd be comfortable talking a little about your inner world, I would love you if you could message me on Tumblr. I want to do a fic about Neil's inner world and I did some research but there are a few things I'm still not sure about and would love to talk about them with someone who actually experiences this.  
> My tumblr: http://kasiulenka133.tumblr.com
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading :)


End file.
